求大神批改雅思6 test2大作文谢谢
- 请大神修改一篇雅思大作文！！谢谢啦！
- 这周考雅思！求各大神批改作文！就一篇而已，谢谢！TAT（可以的话给个分数再改耶.谢谢！！）
- 雅思作文,请高手批改,谢谢!
- 剑桥雅思6 写作 test2 第一篇小作文 书上只有一个6分的考生作文 求范文参考~~~~谢谢
请大神修改一篇雅思大作文！！谢谢啦！
这篇文章你用一边倒的方式还更好，倒数第二段的论证其实反而弱化了你的立场。当然，要保留第二段的话也有一个技巧，你可以以退为进。把它放在第一段或者第二段。 逻辑可表达为：虽然有些人认为学习语言的文化背景和生活方式没必要，因为。。。。。。，我还是倾向于认为。。。。。理由如下：
论证的部分，你的力度一般，而且有些重复。比如你第二段第二个点是"more quickly”，第三点又是“efficiency"，更快，和效率，这本身有重复的嫌疑。也就是说如果在找点上如果差别不是那么明确的话，还不如合二为一。 还有为了增加论证的力度，你除了用例证之外， 还可以用反证法。
单词/语法/句式结构难度上，一般，语法错误不算多，（第二段中，during 是个介词，后面不能直接加完整的句子）但词汇和句式结构上也没什么亮点
综上：应该是5.5分左右。最高6，低可为5.
这周考雅思！求各大神批改作文！就一篇而已，谢谢！TAT（可以的话给个分数再改耶.谢谢！！）
1. 题目改写问题，用词太多重复如die out可换成extinct/obsolete, easier to understood,这些没换词。。。可以考虑下换
2. least people其实可以换成别的词。。。或直接换成lesser-known languages.....
3. AS 这个词。。就用了3次（主要是句型没变换）。。。可以考虑下换回beacause,或者因果颠倒下用therefore/thus.
4. communcate easierly...这个也可以考虑换下。。那个easierly...
5. 然后那个however，后面说的会造成什么问题，最好也说一下。。。略讲也可以
6. different languages可以和language diversity交替来使用。。。。
分数的话。。我很难说，如果没看到马可波罗那个例子，我会给5.5.。。。。不过有了的话。。估计是6或者6.5，具体就看别的部分你的阐述是否完整而且符合题意。
雅思作文,请高手批改,谢谢!
Is the study of history useless? Some people’s answer is “yes” because they believe there are many disadvantages to spend time learning history. However, I can hardly agree with this opinion.
It is evident that studying history is imperative due to history’s important role in enabling people to inherit traditional culture of their countries. If the history were not studied, the related culture would be lost and people would be unaware of what had happened before. More significantly, studying history can not only make people know the past, but also help to promote today’s development. It is because that the study of history could enrich people’s experience, and therefore make them make fewer mistakes as well as avoid similar mistakes occurred in the past and thus advance faster. Lastly, there are a lot of interesting stories in history which people can enjoy in their leisure time.
Even so, I admit that there are disadvantages if people spend too much time on past stories instead of today’s problems, which directly link to our everyday life. Furthermore, it would be inappropriate if we applied old experience on the today’s problems without any changes. It is reasonable because that the situations nowadays are unparalleled so the solutions must be different from those in the past as well. Despite that, people can learn valuable knowledge from history.
To sum up, I take the view that the study of history is very essential although spending too much time on it has detrimental influences. I am convinced that studying history is helpful to the development of the society.
In my opinion, you have the points but you are lack of explanations and examples. You also need to polish your points. For instance, you said studying history can help people to inherit traditional culture of their ancestors, but what if traditional culture is not inherited and what a re the undesirable consequences? Moreover, you said there were interesting stories occurred in the past and people can enjoy the stories, this is valid however, can you give some examples?
In the third paragraph, you are giving counter-arguments and this is good. However, in the first sentence, you have to focus on the drawback of history studying instead of giving drawback of spending too much time on studying history. This mistake is also present in the first paragraph.
In conclusion, you have written a quite insightful passage with points on both sides; advantages as well as disadvantages of history studying. What you need to do is to focus on your stand and polish your points with analysis and probably examples.
剑桥雅思6 写作 test2 第一篇小作文 书上只有一个6分的考生作文 求范文参考~~~~谢谢
雅思写作参考书，我选哪本
在雅思考试当中最让人头疼的可能就是写作了，见过太多的从4.5到5.5挣扎很多次却依然距离6分很遥远的同学，惋惜之余，也在想什么原因导致了这些同学的悲催现状呢。
辅导资料我们并不缺，市面上各种写作指导不下30种。写作理论体系也不缺，什么单边式，双边式，让步式，不一而足。对于一个7分的文章应该是什 么样，大家也是各说各的。虽然有我们有统一的评分标准的指导，但是什么人的解读最有效呢?聪明的同学已经猜到了，当然是雅思考官。考官的标准才是我们唯一 需要遵循的标准。而考官的标准去哪里找呢?毫无疑问，答案在剑桥雅思真题的范文。
我们现在用的最多的复习资料就是剑桥雅思的真题。大作文写作有一个明显的特点，那就是虽然话题多样，提问形式多变，但是常考的话题也就那么几个，从剑桥4-到剑桥8，包括A类和G类文章在内，共有30个题目，基本涉及到了过半数的雅思写作话题了。对于小作文，常见的四种图形--线图，饼图，柱图，饼图--以及两种不常见的图形--地图和流程图--每一种类型在剑桥真题当中都有所涉及。
因而，同学们再准备写作的过程当中首先要做的就是要将剑桥真题当真的9分考官范文做到熟读成诵，熟悉其写作套路，思维模式和常见句型。这样，我们就会发现，其实很多市面上写作参考书里面的分段理论，开头结尾段的理论，甚至一些常见的句型和短语，如in terms of, with regard to等，都来自于官方范文。这样，如何锻造出一篇高分作文，对我们而言将不再是秘密。
新航道雅思：www.xhd/